Still Alive!

I did make it back from Cambodia, despite the impression my lack of posts may have given. I liked the country, and really liked the food, and I would go back, but I never got over the "fight or flight" feeling...right up until I went to the airport, my gut was telling me "get out now!". Friends have suggested various explanations, all of which have merit...it was more alone than I've ever been before, 5 months in Korea had exhausted my appetite for challenge, etc. Whatever the cause, I've never had that happen on vacation before.

The end of the trip was rather pleasant, too. On Thursday, my last day at the Angkor temples, I met a kindred spirit from Nevada, and at dinner that night, we met a retired Canadian couple putting a nifty twist on the snowbird concept by volunteering at a Cambodian school for the winter. We all had dinner together on Friday, too, and it was great fun to hear about everyone's experiences, not least of which was Gordon & Dorothy's time building desks and teaching sewing in Siem Reap.

On the bus back to Phnom Penh, I chatted with an Australian whose friend was living in the city, gathering evidence for the Khmer Rouge trials. I sat on the Riverfront wall in the evening, and, while watching the full moon rise over the party boats and keeping my feet clear of the rats, had a good conversation with a Khmer student who turned out NOT to want any money from me (glad I didn't brush him off immediately), and a Nigerian soccer player who also seemed relatively agenda-free. The Cambodians, as they are wont to do, had a little sidewalk dance party, with a boom box, a couple of dancers, and a flock of good sports of all ages. Children and old women sold cold drinks from coolers slung over their arms. I hated for the night to end.

And now I am Home, and it feels wonderful. In spite of the stresses and struggles that life is never without, there is a rightness to being here that sits well in my soul. It's a little bit surreal, in that I have a sense that time has passed, yet it feels like I never left. I expected everything to be magical, but while I'm conscious of a current of gratitude running deeply below, it all just feels incredibly comfortable, with a subtle veneer of freshness. One attempted "kam sam ni da" to a baggage handler in NYC, and I haven't looked back. Ironically, what struck me most upon reaching New York was how friendly everyone is. Suddenly, I am visible again.

It's odd things that get me--the colorful license plates draw my eye again and again, I wanted to hug the man next to me on the plane for covering his mouth when he sneezed, and I feel a vested interest in the Korean Olympic team. But the cats, after brief consideration, decided that they know me; birds chirp outside the window; I can sing in the car and walk in the woods and talk to my family two days in a row, and it's totally fantastic.